Balance: Re-observing, re-defining
I’ve been thinking a lot about balance—redefining it, in fact, in light of a major life transition.
Last month, I departed government service after 19.5 years spanning the Army, West Point, defense contracting, and federal employment.
My new job with Boulder Crest Foundation allows me to integrate the various parts of my life far more than ever before—my day job, my professional strategy and leadership coaching, and my family.
Previously, each arena of my life needed to be strictly compartmentalized, but now I’m shifting more fluidly between these areas and learning a whole new skill set.
Which leads me to balance.
Is balance a still pendulum hanging at its midpoint?
We strive to experience balance as a static state, hoping to achieve a lasting, harmonious equilibrium in which everything finds its perfect place. We may picture it as a pendulum hanging still at its midpoint. But balance as a static state is an illusion because the pendulum is actually swinging back and forth in a dynamic interplay between potential and kinetic energy all the time.
During this transition month, I noticed that I would—frequently!— feel unbalanced at any given moment—overwhelmed by coordinating schedules or unexpectedly having the kids home for a snow day. But if I stepped back, I could see that the whole day felt “balanced” in its entirety. A few minutes or hours felt chaotic, but I still had a deep sense of being exactly where I was supposed to be.
The coexistence of opposing forces
If we expect to experience balance as a single sense of equilibrium, it can be jarring when we notice the coexistence of opposing forces. We assume we’ll either feel balanced OR unbalanced, not both at the same time.
From the outside, each of us may even look like a pendulum on an effortless glide path, tidily swinging back and forth as a pendulum should. Yet, from the inside, we may be experiencing intense vibrations between opposing forces, more reminiscent of a high-speed train barreling down the track toward the next curve!
The reality of balance is learning to navigate the dynamic tension between contrasting forces.
It's about recognizing that life's equilibrium is a perpetual motion, a continuous dance that requires mindfulness and agility. I’m working on being present enough to embrace the sensation of opposing forces, figuring out new ways to juggle my full, exciting life, and updating my expectations about what “balance” should or could feel like.
Resisting the temptation to view balance as a fixed point allows me to welcome the beauty of the journey, finding stability in the very act of movement.
To me, accepting this updated definition of balance is hopeful. I’m going to practice telling myself in stressful moments that it doesn’t mean I’m unbalanced or that I’m doing anything wrong. It simply means I’m noticing the pull of those opposing forces doing their job, keeping the pendulum swinging.
Do you aim for balance? What does that feel like to you?
Photo by Luca Volpe