The power of perspective: the expert companion

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be an expert companion. 

“Expert companionship” is a term used by Dr. Richard Tedeschi and other pioneers in the study of Posttraumatic Growth to describe someone who offers the kind of support that fosters another’s growth. 

They noticed in listening to stories from people who had been through trauma that there was often someone in their lives who filled this role and that the expert companions were not necessarily mental health professionals.*

For true expert companionship, the expertise is in the companionship itself, not in a professional discipline. 

The key characteristics of expert companions are ones available to most people who are willing to put in the effort to develop them: the ability to be fully present, to listen to another person’s experiences with a learner’s mind, to encourage exploration, and to notice the ways people are changing in the direction of growth.

As a coach, I strive to be an expert companion.

In coaching, we’re trained in the fundamental belief that every client is the expert of their own life and is inherently creative, resourceful, and whole. 

Take a moment. Say to yourself: I am the expert of my own life. I am inherently creative, resourceful, and whole. 

How does that feel?

I often think the biggest gift I offer as a coach is the opportunity for my clients to borrow my eyes and see themselves in this way—as creative, resourceful, and whole.

All the answers a person needs are inside that viewpoint. My clients often simply need help connecting to their own wisdom within. 

Companioning, witnessing, and acknowledging

Recognizing each person as the expert of their own life and creative by nature is a powerful acknowledgment of their unique journey. It keeps the person centered in their own story and helps us listen without preconceived notions about their experiences. 

In coaching, this means that solutions aren’t imposed; they are collaboratively uncovered, with the coach facilitating and the client leading. Imagine the impact of carrying this belief into our everyday interactions!

Learning to hold this perspective intentionally has profoundly impacted my interactions in every context, not just coaching, and it is something that anyone who wants to be an expert companion can lean into.

This perspective reduces tendencies to "fix" people—to offer advice or step in to solve problems immediately—fostering instead an environment where individuals feel valued and understood, paving the way for genuine growth and connection.

Embracing the role of an expert companion in everyday life doesn’t require specific training; it demands empathy, respect, and a commitment to see others as complete, just as they are. 

It's about more than just supporting others—it's about transforming how we view and interact with the world. I've found my relationships are richer and my personal and professional satisfaction immensely deeper. It's a powerful way to live.

*Expert companionship does not negate the value of professional coaching or mental health professionals; instead, it is an additional avenue of support that one can seek or offer others. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez