Shift the focus to succeed with acknowledgments
Have you ever noticed how a simple acknowledgment can brighten someone's day? Taking the time to recognize others is a powerful act of kindness and appreciation, but how we do it makes a difference.
One of the most impactful lessons from my coaching training was a favorite mentor coach repeatedly reminding us to start compliments with "you" instead of "I."
The subtle shift in focus provides a more genuine impact.
Imagine this scenario: You've worked tirelessly on a project, and someone says, "I appreciate how hard you worked on this project." While well-intentioned, the focus subtly emphasizes their feelings rather than your actions. Now, picture instead hearing, "You did an outstanding job on this project."
It’s a small shift, but suddenly the spotlight is on you and your effort, creating a more genuine and impactful acknowledgment.
When you’re the person doing the acknowledging, using "you" instead of "I" can make us feel a bit vulnerable because it places the full focus on the other person and exposes us in the process.
It requires us to step back and truly see the individual without the safety net of our own perspective. This can feel risky because it’s more direct and revealing, showing exactly how we perceive them. However, the slight risk of leaning into vulnerability fosters deeper connections and demonstrates our willingness to offer sincere praise.
Why does this matter?
The shift in perspective—
Increases confidence: When people hear specific and focused praise, it reinforces their self-belief. It’s not just about being recognized but being recognized for something concrete and personal.
Strengthens relationships: Acknowledgments that center on others can deepen connections. They show that you see and value the other person for who they are and what they contribute.
Encourages positive behavior: By highlighting specific actions and qualities, you reinforce the behaviors you want to see more of, creating a positive feedback loop.
Examples to Inspire You
"You did an outstanding job on this project."
"Your dedication and hard work are evident in every detail."
"You consistently bring creativity and excellence to your work."
In each statement, the focus remains firmly on the individual and their contributions, making the compliment more personal and meaningful.
Mastering Centered Acknowledgment
Be specific: Avoid vague compliments. Focus on particular actions or qualities that stand out.
Be sincere: Authenticity is key. Ensure your acknowledgments are genuine and heartfelt.
Be timely: Recognize efforts promptly. The sooner you acknowledge someone, the more impactful it will be.
Consider this: Instead of saying, "I was impressed by your presentation," try, "Your presentation was impressive and showed a deep understanding of the topic." Notice how the latter keeps the attention on the individual’s efforts and achievements.
Incorporating this adjustment into the way you acknowledge others can transform your relationships, whether at home, at work, or anywhere else.
By centering your acknowledgments on others, you give them the recognition they deserve and foster a culture of belonging. The next time you acknowledge someone, try starting with "you" and see what happens.
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